Do you know about - America's Youth Drowning In Happiness
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That's the surprising perspective of one Chicago psychologist implicated about the rising rates of youth depression and anxiety.
"Millions of well-intentioned parents have made life harder for their children by shielding the kids from every kind of unhappiness," agreeing to Aaron Cooper, Ph.D., a Chicago psychologist and co-author of a book on the dangers when parents make happiness the most important thing. "These parents try to soften every edge in their children's lives, and it's crippling the kids emotionally."
"Without abundance of custom coping with commonplace sadness, upset, disappointment, and hurt, kids don't compose resilience," Cooper explained. "And without resilience, they're vulnerable to all kinds of problems."
Cooper calls it the misguided happiness creed, the "I just want my kids to be happy" mentality, which he believes contributes to anxiety and depression for many youngsters.
Based on new estimates, depression affects over one million children and 3.5 million adolescents at any one time in this country. Research also reveals that the onset of depression is occurring earlier than in years past.
"Kids know how much their parents want them to be happy," Cooper said, "and so when they're sad or upset for anyone reason, they feel guilty thinking they're letting their parents down. Many hide their distress at home, which compounds the question and they end up feeling worse." Cooper cites a 2006 study commissioned by house Circle magazine in which 27 percent of surveyed kids reported being "unhappy or just okay." On a national level, that represents ten million children.
During thirty years of counseling families, Cooper frequently heard parents say that their children's happiness was their fondest wish. Wondering whether the youngsters were as a matter of fact interesting that message, he and teacher Eric Keitel, M.Ed., asked a group of 100 middle school students what they belief was most important to their parents, that they be happy, smart, successful, or good. Seventy-five percent of the kids excellent "happy."
Disturbed by that finding, Cooper and Keitel went on to write about the ten ways the happiness creed hurts kids and parents alike.
What should parents emphasize if not happiness? To acknowledge that question, the authors reviewed decades of happiness Research and found eight ingredients in people's lives that reliably predict who is happy and who is not, including a sense of gratitude, closeness to others, and an optimistic outlook.
"There's so much parents can do to plant the seeds of the eight ingredients when kids are young," Cooper says, "while they sit nearby the supper table together or chauffeur the kids back and forth on weekends. Aiming children toward as a matter of fact happy lives can begin when the kids are as young as two and three, but giving up their allegiance to the happiness creed is the first step that parents need to take."
The pressure on kids to be happy is everywhere, agreeing to Keitel, the director of house instruction at an independent school in Chicago. "It's an unrealistic prospect and burden we lay on our sons and daughters," he said. "Parents also pay a price, running themselves ragged or going into debt trying to keep their kids happy," Keitel added, "and then they blame themselves when the kids still don't seem happy enough."
A member of the psychiatry group at Kaiser Permanente in San Francisco for 18 years, Cooper worries that the sharp rise in the use of antidepressant medication among young population often reinforces the message that "you ought to be happier than you are."
"Depression isn't about not being happy enough," he says, "it's about not being fully functional in our day-to-day lives, including energy, sleep, concentration, and appetite. Our kids can be functioning adequately without having a constant smile on their faces, but many parents are finding for that smile."
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